Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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