How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
