Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize