it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
