The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
