It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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