Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
