I need help removing her.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
