Soap is not a condiment
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize