I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
