The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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