I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
