And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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