Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
