Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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