It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
