But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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