Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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