There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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