Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
