she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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