ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
