I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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