She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
