I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I know her cup size but not her name....
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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