Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You smell like stripper and shame
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my being single is dangerous.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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