non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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