hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
