yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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