If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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