Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
