This girl is more easily done than said...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Randomize
