you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
