I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize