Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
