nut hugger
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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