i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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