my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
