I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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