I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she peed on how many people?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
