I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
