Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
