i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
