chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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