I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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