Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
