I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
