Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
