he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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