I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
