So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
