Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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