Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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