puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
