so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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