hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
