Your dad touched me again.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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