Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you would pick up someone in the library
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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