The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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