I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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